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These last few days have been surreal. I don’t feel like a man with a time bomb in my head. I’m still weak, tired and find concentration difficult (the ability to get some decent sleep would help) but every day seems to bring an improvement in many functions. I’m even typing more accurately than I’ve done in a long time. I suppose it’s possible this brain tumour was having an effect on things before I even became aware of it.

I’m far from feeling up to spending a lot of time on the hobby (or anything else in particular) but my mind still needs things to occupy it and my links and contacts with the ham radio community help lift my spirit. As I’m not using my magnetic loop antenna I thought I would connect up the 30m QRSS beacon I built last autumn. So my callsign will be going out over the airwaves as a sign that I’m down but not out and not giving in to the doctors’ pessimistic predictions.

I’d appreciate reception reports direct to my email (julian . g4ilo at gmail . com). At the moment I can’t make head nor tail of grabbers. Nor can I figure out how to change my entry on the Knights QRSS Clipboard. A long way still to go, then, but at least progress for the moment is in the right direction.

73 and thanks for all the messages of support. They really were appreciated during this awful week. If you are interested, you can follow my progress with treatment in One Foot in the Grave.

Less than three weeks ago I wrote of having a bit of a headache. Since then, a lot has happened. I went to hospital in Newcastle, where it was discovered that I have a brain tumour. I was going to write about all of that in a bit more detail but things didn’t turn out quite as I hoped they would.

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A couple of people have commented on the lack of new postings on this blog. I’m grateful that you noticed. Here are a few words of explanation.

Three weeks ago I was doing some work on the computer when I had what I thought was a bad migraine attack. My vision became blurred and I felt nauseous. I switched off the PC and lay down in a darkened room to recover.

Normally a migraine leaves you feeling a bit shaky and after a couple of days you are right as rain again. but the feeling of shakiness never really went away.

After the attack I noticed a few symptoms that were a bit scary because they were really odd. For example I had trouble telling the time. I could see the hands of the watch but couldn’t seem to make sense of it. I also had trouble finding the pointer on the computer screen, even when I knew where it should be. These symptoms did start to wear off, but I still felt that something wasn’t quite right.

For example, if I was trying to pick something (like a Wainwright summit name) from an alphabetically sorted list on a web page I couldn’t find it. If my radio was on 145.450 and someone said they were QSYing to 145.525 I had trouble finding the channel.

I also had – indeed if you could watch me typing this you would find I still have – a lot of trouble using the keyboard. It became so frustrating that I lost most of the desire to post to the blog.

I was in denial that anything was wrong. Plus, to be honest, I didn’t have much faith that the system here would do much to help me. I hoped that if I just carried on trying to do normal things one day I would find that everything was back to normal again.

Last weekend I went for a walk to the top of Binsey, one of the local Wainwright summits. I made it to the top OK but after I finished making contacts and went to leave I felt strangely disorientated and had to search for the way down. On the drive home I almost went off the edge of the road because I had trouble judging the distance on the left hand side.

Walking around town several times I knocked into lamp posts and other obstructions on the left hand side, as if I didn’t notice them.

Eventually, yesterday, I decided finally that I should see my GP. He listened carefully as I described all the symptoms I have mentioned and did a few tests on my reflexes and co-ordination. Unfortunately it seems my pessimism about the system was not misplaced. The doctor told me that the specialist he would like to refer me to, a neurologist, is not available here.

He said – these are more or less his exact words – that the NHS is very good in an emergency, such as if you have a heart attack, but in the case of ongoing problems it doesn’t work very well. His role is just to help me get the best out of it. So he has arranged for me to have an appointment at the hospital in Whitehaven for a CT scan. which given the speed things normally move here could be several days. In the meantime I have been advised not to drive, which is obviously understandable but a major hassle in an place where public transport is very limited and it is a couple of hours by bus just to reach the hospital.

So I don’t know exactly what is the matter with me. I just  have to wait for the results of the scan and hope for the best. In the meantime I can still talk to people on the radio but it is unlikely that I shall be posting to the blog or answering emails very much.

Like anyone with an ounce of compassion, Olga and I have been concerned about the welfare of the people of Japan. But it is becoming clear, at least to me, that most of the anxiety we initially felt about a nuclear catastrophe occurring in the country has been caused entirely by irresponsible and sensationalist reporting by the western mass media.

Scrolling news headlines screamed about fear of meltdown even while nuclear experts on the same channels were explaining how, due to the design of the reactors, this wasn’t likely. Fear has been generated over increased radiation levels in Tokyo causing many expatriates to flee home, many on the advice of their own western governments. But whilst reporting these increased levels, the news media have not bothered to put them into context, such as how the amount of radiation compares with that received on the flight home to London or on a holiday in Cornwall in the south west of England, a place where the naturally occurring level of radiation is so high that nuclear plants cannot be built there because they would exceed the legal radiation limits before they even started.

Yesterday, apparently, the Italian relief agency did a test for radiation on the roof of the Italian embassy in Tokyo and got a reading which is lower than the usual reading in Rome! The problems with the Fukushima reactors are almost a non-event compared to the tsunami which has displaced half a million people and wiped whole towns off the map. If the rest of the world wants to help Japan it should get a grip and focus on the real disaster.

In my search to try to find out what is really going on I have found a couple of blogs which I have added to my blogroll. The first is A Brasspounder’s Cafe by Leo, JJ8KGZ. He has just begun to write about his experiences during the earthquake last Friday. The second, The Intercultural, is written by a British academic working in Tokyo. The author is not a ham at all, but the blog is very well written. Finally I have added the blog of Atsu, JE1TRV which is called CW4EVER. He hasn’t written much about the disaster and his interests are a bit different than mine but my blog was already in his blogroll which is good enough for me to add his to mine!

Meanwhile we continue to think of the people of northern Japan, and especially the 50 heroes struggling to regain control of the power plants at Fukushima, and hope that things start to get better for the Japanese people very soon.

I’m taking a bit of a break from radio. Perhaps it’s because I’m feeling a bit run down or perhaps I’m suffering from radio burnout but at the moment I can’t even be bothered to turn on APRS or WSPR or something that will run even when I’m not there.

I think the events unfolding in Japan may have an influence on my feelings too. We are used to seeing disasters on our TV screens but the scale of this one seems to eclipse anything in living memory. Hobby activity seems frivolous when you consider how the inhabitants of north eastern Japan must be feeling. The floods that hit my own home town seemed devastating at the time and after more than a year many people are still not back in their homes. But by comparison with what has happened in Japan, what happened to us pales into insignificance. It will take many years before life returns to normal for many people there – if it ever can for the tens of thousands who will have lost family members and loved ones in the disaster. My heart goes out to them. It is yet another reminder that the works of man are as nothing compared to the forces of nature.

If the earthquake and tsunami were not bad enough there is also the impending threat of a nuclear disaster. One is eerily reminded of the Chernobyl disaster, the 25th anniversary of which is only just over a month away. Though the nuclear power experts assure us that everything is under control and there is no risk of another Chernobyl, the headlines scrolling across the screen still scream “Meltdown.” This is a disaster that is going to have repercussions across the world, and I’m not talking about the economic shockwaves from such a big blow to the world’s third largest economy though I’m sure we will soon feel them.

The Three Mile Island nuclear incident in 1979 halted the development of nuclear power in the USA for thirty years. It is unrealistic to expect that what is happening to the Japanese nuclear plants won’t have an impact on how people here feel about nuclear power. Engineers have and will continue to argue that the Japanese plants were 40 years old, that actually they coped with the effects of this major disaster pretty well, and that the UK is not in an earthquake zone so we would never experience such problems. But for as long as these images are fresh in people’s minds, nobody will want a nuclear power station in their back yard. And in a country as small and crowded as the UK if we are going to have nuclear power someone will have to.

This is a disaster, not just for Japan, but for the entire nuclear industry.

The price of copper has risen by 300 percent over the last two years. Other metals have also risen in value. According to GB2RS News, this is making radio amateurs targets for copper thieves. An amateur in Yorkshire had all his cabling stolen including the coax and ladder line for his G5RV antenna.

I presume the action of an irate neighbour fed up with receiving TVI has been ruled out. The RSGB is encouraging amateurs to make sure access to cables is restricted and that their installations are as secure as possible. Looks like another benefit of stealth operation and attic antennas!

Several ham radio blogs have linked to the Wired article Why Ham Radio Endures in a World of Tweets. “What is it about a simple microphone, a transmitter-receiver and the seductive freedom of the open radio spectrum that’s turned a low-tech anachronism into an enduring and deeply engaging global hobby?” the author asks. He goes on to describe the thrill of establishing a direct, person to person long distance contact and exchanging QSL cards, which he contrasts with “a world of taken-for-granted torrents of e-mails, instant messages and Skype video-chats.” It’s a point of view that QRP enthusiasts and many others will identify with.

In the comments to the article many have been keen to say that ham radio is not low tech, citing “VoIP Radio” and digital techniques as examples. They may be true, but I’m afraid the commenters miss the point. The more high-tech ham radio becomes, the less magic there is. Developments like D-Star are about as far from the concept of a simple transceiver and the freedom of the open radio spectrum as it is possible to get. It isn’t simple, it isn’t free (since it depends on a network controlled by someone else) and it isn’t open. Which is why it is anathema to many of us.

There is a danger that the pursuit of technology could turn ham radio into a poor copy of existing communications networks. Ham radio has endured because it has held on to its traditions involving relatively simple technology that most hams can understand and even build for themselves. If we ever lose sight of that the hobby is as good as dead.